Do you ever feel like you are feeling things more strongly than usual? Things just seem to impact you more. I felt that way for the past couple of days. For example, today, while I was waiting for the crossing guard, aka, the little flashing man/sign, I found myself staring off into space. The rain was coming down, more than a drizzle, but it didn't really matter b/c it was warm outside (is this what they mean by "global warming?"). So, there I was, staring off into space. Watching the cars pass by, their tires whipping through the puddles. I wasn't thinking of much of anything, but I was at peace. Peace with myself and the world around me. And I was thankful-for the simple pleasure of walking to school, in the rain.
Over the weekend I was sitting in a coffee-house trying to work on a project for class. Across the room sat three men , a father and his two grown sons maybe? They were enjoying a friendly game of dominoes on a Sunday afternoon. The men spoke in Spanish so I'm not sure what exactly they were saying (nor did I understand their game having never played dominoes), but I could read their body language pretty easily: they were just enjoying life. Enjoying being in each others company. They were thankful that they had the day off of work. In fact, work was the last thing on their minds. One of the sons would make a joke. The other two would laugh. This is why God gave us the Sabbath: I thought to myself. It's a time when we can catch up with friends and family, laugh, go to church...and play dominoes. Sigh. I didn't have much motivation to finish my project after that.
Last night my co-workers and I were outside for our break. As we were making small talk about the gorgeous and warm weather, the wind blew. It wasn't a big gust of wind. Just a soft breeze. And it just felt "right." Once again, I was at peace. Peace with myself and at peace with the night sky. Work was a blur after that, but that feeling of peace and wholeness stayed with throughout the night. Sometimes, I wish I felt this deeply all the time. Would I have a different perspective on life? Would I be more sympathetic toward others? What about love? gratitude? Would I love others with a more gracious heart ? Last post I wrote that I was thankful for love- for being loved and for loving others. Tonight, I will go to bed with a heavy heart. A heart that is full of awe, wonder, love and hope. Hope that tomorrow will bring new blessings. Do you ever feel like you are feeling things more strongly than usual? As we were praying in Bible Study night, I realized, once again: tonight is one of those nights.
1 comment:
Natalie, I can certainly relate to your feelings in this post. I will have weeks of just living on auto pilot and then all of a sudden it's as if "Earth's crammed with heaven and every common bush afire with God . . ." EBB I am a big fan of Story People and my friend gave me the one that says, "She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful & life was so short." Sometimes I think it would be easier to just live on the surface, but I am learning to praise God for making me to think and feel so deeply. Praying blessings for your new year!
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