I was talking to a friend tonight and somewhere between her telling me about her first real art show and me explaining what "joint mobilizations," are and why we use them in physical therapy, the conversation did an about face and we started talking about "deep" stuff. Gotta love a deep conversation every once and awhile. Anyway, recently, I told her, I have felt like my life is on stand-by because all I can think about is some "event" that is 2 weeks away (sorry for the vagueness here). It's as if my birthday is two weeks away, and I am so concentrated on turning ___ (fill in age), that I can thinking of nothing else but my birthday. And I'm waiting and I waiting for my BIG DAY to come, and eventually, it does. But, to my dismay, my birthday comes and goes, and the next day I find myself saying, "is that it? I was waiting all this time, and nothing has really changed. I don't even "feel" older."
"That's such a dismal way to look at your birthday," my friend replied. I agree with her, nevertheless, it's true to how I am presently feeling. I feel like my life is on hold because I am waiting for some BIG event to happen and change my life. Have you ever felt like this? Like you are going through the motions, but are not really living? Like you're stuck in the movie "Groundhog's day." And you think, if I can just wait long enough, maybe something BIG will happen, and life will be better?!? Things will get better and then, I can start living again.
Sometimes I feel this way about being single. Somedays I want nothing more than to find my knight in shining arm, my "Mr. Right." And then he will sweep me off my feet, we'll get married and we'll live happily ever after. The End. Gotta love fairytales. Eventually, I come back to reality and think to myself, is this anyway to live? Pretending that real life hasn't started yet. A friend showed me this quote by Elisabeth Eliot:
Single life may only be a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived--not always looking forward to as though the real living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow.
God does still own tomorrow. I am thankful for this. It is now up to me to start taking life a day at a time. Maybe one day I'll find Mr. Right, but for now, I am thankful for close friends, loving parents and a sister who is coming to visit tomorrow.! How blessed I am to have so many people in my life who love me and whom I love.
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